Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What drink are we having for lunch?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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