Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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