I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
