I looked at my own cervix.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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