i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
