her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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