You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
In America we eat man semen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
