I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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