I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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