Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
