That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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