So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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