This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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