I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
