I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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