any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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