So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Randomize