On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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