Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
