if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
