I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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