so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
