he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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