hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
