Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
