You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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