i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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