our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
