Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
