he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
