I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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