Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
