Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
