its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
