If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
