So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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