Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
