Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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