"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
