I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
