white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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