I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
