i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
