Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
