yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
