Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My vagina is officially offended.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
