I want to stick my p in your. b.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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