he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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