I wish I could teleport
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
