I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
