Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
